My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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