i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
