I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
