So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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