we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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