i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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