Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
