His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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