Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He passed out mid-signature
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
