it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
