i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
