Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
