My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you win again, gameday.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Randomize
