im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
