Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
