i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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