My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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