I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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