she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
