This girl is more easily done than said...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
sarcasm needs its own font
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Everclear isn't food dammit
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
