I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
