whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
