He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
