bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
