But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
