How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
