i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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