I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
