Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
