About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
