so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Randomize
