at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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