Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
