one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
