Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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