and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
