There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
