I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
