I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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