How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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