this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
In America we eat man semen.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
