We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
