I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Found the puke drawer
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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