Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize