apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize