Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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