Are we in a gay sports bar?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
