Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
