butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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