so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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