You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
