the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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