It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize