VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
