For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
